Last year Richard Eisenberg, writing in Forbes Magazine, reported that 64% of all adult Americans do NOT have a will. He writes, “Incredibly 51% of Americans age 55 to 64 do not have wills…. Worse, 62% of those age 45 to 54 – and 67% of women that age haven’t drafted wills.”
Sadly, this means that a significant number of family members are destined to face a profound ordeal, beyond the shock and grief of losing a beloved relative. Settling the affairs of someone who dies without a will (intestate) can be a nightmare – one that can go on for months.
On page 445, The Book of Common Prayer, in the section for Thanksgiving for a Child, offers what I (somewhat irreverently perhaps) call the “Planned Giving Rubric”:
The Minister of the Congregation is directed to instruct the people, from time to time, about the duty of Christian parents to make prudent provision for the well-being of their families, and of all persons to make wills, while they are in health, arranging for the disposal of their temporal goods, not neglecting, if they are able, to leave bequests for religious and other charitable uses.
This is not a plea for people to leave their money to the church; that is mentioned last in the paragraph, preceded by “…if they are able.” It is a plea to have a plan.
I suspect that most people would easily agree that parents should make provision for their children, understanding the horror leaving minor children without resources or guardians. But what about the older adults (age 55-64) whose children have probably reached their majority? Why don’t these older adults have wills? I would suggest that 1) “denial” may be at work and 2) it can be hard to know where/how to get started.
While, I encourage people to consult a Trusts & Estate attorney as they draw up their plans, there is a certain amount of homework that each individual (or couple) needs to do before sitting down with the lawyer.
Simply put, there are three questions that one must consider:
- What do I own?
- What do I owe?
- Who do I love?
As much as I believe in using an attorney, one cannot expect the attorney to know a person’s answers to these three essential questions. It is the sole responsibility of the individual to come up with his or her answers to these questions. Answering these questions can be thought of as completing the ultimate homework assignment.
The Episcopal Church Foundation (www.episcopalfoundation.org) has a brochure entitled, Writing Your Will: When There’s a Will There’s a Way. Once you arrive at the ECF homepage, go to “Programs”, then to “Planned Giving” and then to “Planned Giving Brochures.” You can either order a packet of these informative brochures or download and print a copy on your computer.
So, that’s how to get started. But there is more to consider:
- What sort of funeral would you like? What hymns? What Scripture readings? What sort of burial provisions would you like?
- Do you have a Medical Directive that includes both treatment and organ donation? Your attorney or your local hospital can provide guidance on these issues. The Episcopal Church Foundation offers a helpful booklet, Planning for the End of Life: Faithful Stewards of Your Good Gifts. This can also be accessed via the ECF website.
- Do your survivors know your wishes and where to find the documents that are involved?
- Is your priest aware of your wishes…and those of your family?
- If you have a plan, when was the last time it was updated? If the answer to this is five years ago or longer, it is very likely that there have been changes in circumstances that will complicate settling your affairs if the plan does not reflect current assets, debts and surviving loved ones.
None of the items listed above involve my opinion of what you should do with any of them. But, as one who has received that sudden and awful phone call informing me of the death of a loved one, I can say that not having access to any sort of plan adds to the intensity of a very difficult moment.
In closing, let me invite you to consider a portion of The Great Litany on page 149 of the Book of Common Prayer: “From all oppression, conspiracy, and rebellion; from violence, battle, and murder; and from dying suddenly and unprepared, Good Lord, deliver us.”
