Spiritual Direction: The Basics

What may sound like an esoteric and rarified kind of encounter is seldom so. As one of my own spiritual directees puts it, “this is a chance to reflect on my life in the light of my faith. As we talk I get a clearer idea of how God may be wooing me, or prodding me, to go in a new direction—or how God may be present in a difficult situation.”  Even if someone feels at a loss about how to talk about God’s presence, a skilled spiritual director can make it surprisingly easy through a few leading questions.

Far from selfish “navel gazing,” the goal of authentic spiritual direction is to give us deeper roots in God so we can become more and more the bearers of God’s love and justice to our corner of the world. The deeper the roots, the wider the extent of our outreach can be.

You’re not required to have “spiritual problems” to seek spiritual direction, because this is not a problem-oriented discipline. Psychotherapy asks “what’s wrong” and aims to uncover hidden knots, tangles and blocks in the psyche.  But (as the late Gerald May, both psychiatrist and spiritual director, puts it) “spiritual direction asks about how God is present and active in your life in this moment, in that opportunity, in any and every circumstance.”

In order to begin answering such questions, spiritual directors often ask newcomers to share their “spiritual autobiography” — the story of significant moments in their journey of faith. What was your impression of God as a child? How have your ideas of God changed over the years? What major turning points brought you to the present moment?  How do you pray, and when, and about what?  In order to discern how God may be present in any situation, we need to have some idea of which face of God we are looking for.  “If I’m looking for the God of comfort when it’s the God of challenge who is present,” says one participant in a spiritual direction group, “ I may think God is absent.”

Spiritual direction situations may happen once every 4-6 weeks, or less frequently, depending on the mutual decision of guide and seeker. Contemporary spiritual directors sometimes ask for a payment for their time, though most are willing to provide direction to some without financial compensation if there are financial challenges.  Some people find guidance in spiritual direction groups, led by a trained spiritual director, or following a prepared sharing curriculum such as the Upper Room’s “Companions in Christ.”

We’re in the midst of a great revival and “democratization” of spiritual direction.  Originally rooted in the early church’s “discernment of spirits,” spiritual direction flourished in the communities of Desert monks in Egypt in the early Christian centuries, and became institutionalized as part of monastic life. Often, Christians in leadership positions in society would seek out a spiritual father or mother trained in “reading souls” and giving advice on seeking God’s guidance.

Since the mid-20th century, the art has blossomed in new forms among Anglicans and other Christians for lay people seeking firmer spiritual grounding for their lives in a time when many forces conspire to demand that people continue to grow and change to adapt to new life-situations.  Many training centers have sprung up for people who feel called to be directors—often by the fact that people tend to approach them naturally for soul-talk.  A good spiritual director should also have a director for their own journey—someone to be accountable to as they offer guidance to others.

A vast array of books on spiritual direction are available for people interested in finding out more. Some modern classics include Tilden Edwards’ Soul Friend, Gerald May’s Care of Mind, Care of Soul, Margaret Guenther’s Holy Listening: The Art of Spiritual Direction and Spiritual Direction: Wisdom for the Long Walk of Faith, an anthology of Henri Nouwen’s writings edited by Michael Christensen and Rebecca Laird.