Editor’s Note: Whether it’s traveling to Panama to improve the living conditions at a companion diocese or driving to a local soup kitchen to feed the homeless, members of the Diocese of Newark are discovering ministries around the world or around the corner. And sometimes a ministry can find you, no travel required, because it’s been within your heart forever. Such is the case with Mary McManus, who founded a ministry for kids with special siblings. Here is her story.
My sister Jane has been developmentally disabled since she was a year old. She contracted measles as a baby, and the accompanying fever brought on convulsions which damaged her brain. She lives with learning disabilities, epilepsy, schizophrenia, and a host of other disorders that have developed over the years. She takes many pills, and has a tough time with daily living. But more importantly, she is a kind, gentle, lovable soul who likes to socialize and travel. However, as her sister, I often felt very scared, anxious and unsafe. Growing up, I always longed for someone to truly understand how I felt, but came up short most of the time.
As an adult, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a sibling support group years ago. Looking back, I was overwhelmed with the question of why they never had this type of support for children when I was young. When the group ended, I missed it, and this spring I started a similar sibling support group for children at Grace Church in Madison.
Starting a support group like this for children has been pressing on my heart for a long time and I am so blessed to be able to lead it. Already the kids and I have bonded so much. Some members of our group were apprehensive at our first meeting, and that concerned me. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly they opened up. One of my new little friends says, “Hi older sibling,” whenever she sees me. That always makes me smile.
The feedback I have received from these “younger siblings” and their parents has been very positive and joyful. The kids feel like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders when they leave our circle. They love it because they can say anything they want, talk about their feelings and just be free from their concerns for a little while. At our last meeting one girl said, “Even my best friend in the world doesn’t really fully understand how I feel about my situation but in my group they really get it.” The illnesses that the siblings of these children have range from Asperger’s to bipolar disorder.
Our group is open to children 8-12 years of age who have a sibling with any learning disability or physical challenge – large or small. We spend time together talking and sharing our feelings. Sometimes we do an activity that helps us discuss each of our own situations. The environment we have created is safe and confidential. The kids like to call it our “secret circle.”
If you know of anyone who would be interested, please pass this on. We get together every two weeks. If you have any questions or want to RSVP please email me at maryjohnmc@optonline.net.
“He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” 2 Cor. 1:4.
