With sadness we share the news of the death of Helen Stewart Thayer, 89, known to all as "Muff," on April 22, 2016. Muff was active in the Diocese of Newark during Bishop Spong's episcopate, serving on the editorial board of The VOICE. A memorial service will be held at St. Bartholomew's Church in Ho-Ho-Kus at 11 AM on Saturday, May 21.
Born and raised in Wilmette, IL, in high school Muff attended Kemper Hall (an all-women boarding school run by Episcopal nuns), and after graduating from Northwestern University moved to the New York/New Jersey area with her husband, Bill Thayer. They eventually settled in Saddle River where she raised her family and enjoyed many friends.
Professionally, Muff was trained as an orthoptist and worked for many years at Pascack Valley Hospital, where she held many positions before retiring in 1995.
In addition to her volunteer work in our diocese, Muff also served as a member of the Board of Directors of the West Bergen Mental Health Center, president of the Governors Committee of Friends of Ramapo College, and was a longtime member of the Board of Trustees of the Friends of the Hermitage in Ho-Ho-Kus.
Muff's family remembers her as an iconic figure with a regal bearing (which earned her the family sobriquet "The Queen") and a warm and generous heart. They say that her insistence upon good table manners is so ingrained in the family's DNA that her descendants, years from now, will not know exactly why they can't stack plates at the table, but they will not do it.
Muff is survived by her daughter, Tracey (Jeff Cartwright); son, Willard (Catherine); grandsons, Peter Thayer Cartwright (Laura), Michael Ross Cartwright, and Charles Ross Thayer, and her great-grandson, Clifford Thayer Cartwright. Muff was predeceased by her brothers, Peter and Bill Stewart; her son, Ross Stewart Thayer, and her ex-husband, Bill Thayer.
Condolences may be sent to her daughter Tracey Thayer at 4308 New Kent Ave., Richmond, VA 23225.
The family requests that in lieu of flowers contributions be made in Muff's memory to the West Bergen Mental Health Center, the Friends of the Hermitage, or to Life Source Services Hospice of Paramus.
Lord, for your faithful people life is changed, not ended.
When the body of our earthly dwelling lies in death
we gain an everlasting dwelling place in heaven.
Lord, grant eternal rest, forever in the radiance of your light.
Amen.
